undeniable experience

I tell about this experience with great reservation.  I do not want anyone to think that I have done something special.  I have not…It is all HIM.  I did not have a choice; HE is in control of all.

I wonder, even today, why me...not in a I wish it would have been someone else sort of way, but in the manner of how could this happen to me in the spiritual state I was in.

At that time in my life (July 1999), I was living what the world would consider a normal life.  At age 28 enjoying TV, video games, sports, I used tobacco, drank the occasional beer and even got a little toasted now and then.  By the world standards, my life was nothing out of the ordinary. 

From a spiritual perspective I was much further from YHWH than I should have been.  I believed Yeshua came and died and rose again and sits at the right hand of YHWH.  Problem was I was not trying to live as Christ.  I believed in the three YHWH, Yeshua, and the Set Apart Spirit of the Almighty (Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost, Ruach Ha Kodesh…).  Well the third (Set Apart Spirit) I really had not come to terms with.  I believed Ruach Ha Kodesh existed, but did not realize/believe in HIS workings. 

I grew up in a lutheran church and went through all of the traditions in that church and had strong convictions about believing in Yeshua.  When I met my wife to be, we had many conversations about YHWH, Yeshua, and Ruach Ha Kodesh.  She believed strongly in the gifts of Ruach Ha Kodesh and that they were/are present today.  I did not argue, but did not really believe either.

I could go on about my dis-belief in Ruach Ha Kodesh, but I hope you get the point that I believed HE existed, but did not believe HIS workings were real…

Until…, July 1999, I started to ponder on the Ruach Ha Kodesh.  I finally decided “Hey I’ve gotta know if this is real”.  That was my thought exactly.  I still remember that night as I got into bed thinking that nothing would happen, but hoping that I was wrong, and something would happen.

As I lay in bed I became very frank as I started to speak to YHWH.  “i just want to know Father is it real.  If it is, please show me.”  That was the start of a new beginning for me.  Let me tell you, the experience I went through was undeniable.  I felt an explosion from within that went out to my extremities.  Like a fire from within.  Something I truly could not deny.  As I laid there HE gave me utterance with evidence of speaking in tongues. 

All of the sudden it stopped.  I knew exactly why too.  I had things in my life that I had to give up.  I could not wait.  I started getting rid of all of the iniquity, (snuff—tobacco, alcohol, movies…) all thrown away, it had to go.  No trying to stop bad habits.  Let me tell you HE delivered me in that moment. 

The next night I had asked forgiveness for my past as I was under conviction from Ruach Ha Kodesh.  I just acknowledged the presence of Ruach Ha Kodesh and the explosion came again.  This time it went on all night and did not stop.

At that time I certainly new it was real, but did not know what I was in for.  It went on for more than six months in an extreme way.  Seeing angels pour vessels of honey looking substance over my head and actually feeling the warm substance flow over my entire body.  So much so that even my wife and others even noticed physical signs; and would see thick oily substance on my forehead and even glittery flakes of what appeared to be gold. 

Reading the word became a totally different experience.  Before I had to make myself read, and most of the time never even comprehended the words I read.  After this experience HE would guide me through the WORD.  All I had to do was flip through the pages and HE would, what I call, “overwhelm me” at the spot I needed to read.  It was the experience all over again, the explosion from inside out.  As I would walk through book stores He would guide me to certain books in the same manner.

One day, much after this experience started, HE was leading me through the scriptures in the manner described above.  When I heard HIS voice say “It doesn’t always have to work this way.  I can just speak to you.”  HE said “Hearing ME is for everyone”.  What a joy, I can now speak to HIM and I can hear HIM.

I found out hearing HIS voice is not always as good one moment as it is in another.  We really have to watch our flesh.  I also realized that if there was sin in my life I could not hear HIM as well.  Sanctification is important in hearing HIM clearly.

It did not take an elder or any other man.  YHWH had great mercy on me, which I did not deserve.  I worry that it will all go away.  But HE repeatedly tells me if you are obedient to me, you will not fail.   

What an experience and it still goes on today.  When I acknowledge the presence of Ruach Ha Kodesh HE “overwhelms me”.  I truly love my Father, Yeshua and Ruach Ha Kodesh.   You will never get a different answer from any of the three.

There is more to tell, but it is already quit lengthy.  You can email me if you have questions .  Not sure that I can answer them, but I know HE can.  We just need to be sensitive and receptive to Ruach Ha Kodesh.     

I tell about this experience with great reservation.  I do not want anyone to think that I have done something special.  I have not…It is all HIM.  I did not have a choice; HE is in control of all.

...I still ask why me…as I patiently wait on HIS guidance...